Finally We Met

This was a weekend that I was waiting for a long time.. Finally I got to see him. We would have talked a 100 times.. we would have smsed a 100 times.. we would have mailed a 100 times.. But nothing was even remotely close to seeing him in person. I would have to admit that I was a bit tense. Tense about whether he would like me or not.. whether I would be the person that he had in his mind.. whether I am dreaming unnecessarily or not. But then Saturday came. We agreed to meet up, just to see each other perhaps. It was decided almost a week back, and I was literally counting the days till Saturday came. The d-day so to speak.

We were planning to meet at around 6 in one of the busiest malls in the city. I had a bit of pending work in office, and was at work during the day time. Then an emergency came, and I had to go to the mall at around 5 itself. I messaged him saying that I was about to be there in the mall at 5. But he was with his friend at an other part of the city. That meant that I was to be alone in that mall. Its a strange feeling when you are alone there.. Everyone to be seen there had some company or the other. I was waiting there staring at the people who were having some fun in the company of the people whom they were with. My wait went on and on.. Couple of times he called me up saying that he would be late, as he was stuck in traffic. Slowly I was getting a feeling that my wait might just be something in vain. Does he really want to see me or what? Doubts started coming in as usual.. I didn't know what to do now -- should I head home, or wait for some more time. I was sure from within that I would completely break down if he doesn't come up. What better place than my house for the breakdown? I didn't want the world to see my agony.

When you are madly in love with someone, the way in which I am, you go beyond your senses in doing things. Even when I had that sinking feeling within me that I might be waiting for something very illusive, I didn't want to go.. I just wanted to wait that extra minute.. that extra half-an-hour.. in the hope that he would come. This wait was killing me. As I stood in the second floor of that big mall seeing thousands walk bye, I realized I might still be very much lonely in my life.. The person whom I was madly waiting for all these months may decide to give it a skip. I decided to get into the comfort of the books at that point of time. I was dead upset, and needed something to get off the bunch of emotions that I was getting tied to.. Books are something that have always managed to change my moods. Got into the biographies and international sections of one of the biggest bookstalls in the city.

Time passed bye, and I had decided on the books that I was going to buy. While I was in the queue at the bills counter paying for the books that I had bought, I got a call from him. Finally he was in.. All my fears were just my whims.. I was trying to make a mountain out of a mould. Why am I so insecure about my relationships? Maybe the fact that I never had one could be the reason for that. My heartbeats were racing along... If we were to map those heartbeats into some speedometer of a car, it would have seen to be like a car accelerating on an isolated highway.. I was looking forward to the direction that he was supposed to come.. And finally there he was.. with a warm smile on his face.. The face that I had been longing for such a long long time. I didn't know what to do.. Every inch of my body was excited seeing him. Did I have some goose pimples.. Maybe there were. We recognized each other soon, as we had seen each other on photos. He came to me standing in the line.. shook hands.. and there was his killing smile.. He had a look at the books that I was having in my hands, and said he would wait outside while I pay off the bills.

Once I paid off the bills, I went out, impatiently looking out for him. He might have been somewhere outside doing something. I waited outside for him again, and there he was reappearing from the crowds with that killer smile on his lips. The next one hour or so was perhaps the best time in my life for a long long time. We talked and talked and talked. He took me to his favorite ice-cream shop, and we had some ice creams. Who cared about having an ice creams in that cold night.. I didn't.. I was just too happy to be with him. I was just staring at the person whom I was waiting to see for such a long time, and I couldn't believe what was happening with me.. Maybe I might have behaved a bit odd in the way I was upto him, because I could see him as well bemused at the way I was behaving. And then it was time to go.

As we walked towards his car, a whole host of thoughts were running through my mind.. Why didn't he come a bit earlier in my life.. when there would have been absolutely nothing that would stop him from being mine, and me from being his.. I was answering things to whatever he was asking, but my mind was elsewhere. Why is it that things don't happen properly in my life? He is the first person whom I have fallen in love to.. but the sad part of it all is that we might never be together. I am destined to be the person in waiting for him for the rest of my life.. Its a destiny of choice by me.. Something that I hope I would do any time for him. As he stopped his car in front of the last curve to my house, I didn't know what to speak.. That beautiful little passage of time was coming to an end. Was there a bit of a tear in my eyes?? Maybe there was.. Is it possible for time to get stagnant at this point of time? Is it possible that there is an endless torrent, that would take me to the world of my dreams... There wont. As I said bye to him did I want to kiss him good bye.. I definitely did. That might perhaps be one thing that I would never be able to do in my life.. But then, God has given me only this small bit of happiness with him.. That's what God has destined for me.. Who am I to challenge it.. I will wait.. wait for the day when I will get him. If God has mercy on me, that would happen.. else it would be a never ending wait that would end only when the last breath is taken away from me.. Thanks my dear.. Thanks a lot for bringing in some happiness in my life.. Thanks for making me realize what it is to be in love.....