Life Rolls On

At times people behave in a very strange way. All day yesterday in his mails, he was trying to portray himself as a very bad person. I never understood why he wanted to put himself up in such a way. It sounds a bit odd from him when he tries to put himself up in such a way. As far as I know him, he is one person whom I can easily call as a beacon of positivity. He is positive in everything - in life, at work, everywhere. But somehow he speaks to me with utter disregard for himself. Is it something that he deliberately tries to pull himself down in my eyes, I don't know. If that is the case, he is going to fail very badly. He is such big heights in my eyes that it will be very difficult for him to come down. And then as they say, when you are in love, you tend to overlook all bad things if any. I liked this person knowing that he wont be perfect - and he is not perfect either. One cant be selective when it comes to liking a person. You can never say that I will like some traits of him that appear to be good for me, and don't like the bad things as I perceive. That's not the way relations work. I love him knowing very well that there would be things in his behavior that I wont like. But then, if I really love him, I will have to accept him with all his his good and bad. Irrespective of how hard he tries, there is no way I am going to change my opinion about him.

At office as well, things are kind of sluggish. No real excitement around. I remember, last year at this point of time, things were just buzzing with activity. Is it time to move over in life? The problem that I see here is that I have given a few commitments here and there, and it will be difficult for me to move soon. Maybe the end of the year is a realistic time frame for me to move. But then, if nothing happens for such an extended period of time, I will have to opt for something else. And in such a scenario, the best way would be to move out. Off late I am seeing that the industry as well is not exactly on a boom. Does all of that point to a bleak future? I don't know. I just hope that its not the case. All our lives would be badly affected if there is a slowdown again. That's the last thing that all of us could hope for.

AR seems to be off mood these days. Very less talking, kind of being secluded to himself. Maybe the pressures of work is getting hold on him. Or is it that the time has come for this staying together for both of us to come to an end? After all he will also get bored seeing the same person day-in, day-out - eating the same food day-in, day-out. Hope his marriage happens soon. Even though he never expressed it, he is a tad disappointed at his marriage not happening. With all those horoscope problems, it would be difficult for him to get an alliance. But then, difficult and impossible things do happen in life, right? It will happen when the time is right. AJ seems to be very happy since his brother got admission into one of the plum colleges in Bangalore. That makes his day as well. Things will be hectic for MS as well, as his marriage is going to be fixed. AM feeling really happy for these guys that their stuff is going in the right track. The only touch of disappointment for me is AR's marriage. If God-willing, that happens as well, it would be so-called "picture-prefect".

One of my cousin is getting married over the weekend, and I have decided to bunk it. My parents are a bit upset about it. But I had to take such a decision to make sure that I don't end up telling more lies on me not getting married. How long will such a "run-from-the-facts" continue? At some point of time I will have to tell the complete truth about me to my parents. Am I really ready to say that to them? Are they ready to hear the hardest reality that they would ever hear about their son? I think "no" is the answer in both the cases. Hence its better to keep this within myself as long as things are not ready.