Weekend Ahead

One more weekend coming up. Yet again its a lonely weekend, hence most uninspiring by all means. One of my friends is getting married over this weekend. Hence AR, AJ and MS are going for the marriage. This guy is a friend of their's and have met him on a few occasions when he came over to our house. MS was insistent that I come over to Calicut for the marriage, as they were planning to go on an outing in the outskirts of Calicut tomorrow. The marriage is on Sunday. I decided not to go for it, since if I go for this one, my family would insist that I come over for my cousin's marriage next week. And if I go for that, I will have to listen to a thousand questions on why I am not getting married. For each of those questions, I will have to tell a lie as well. Why say so much lies again and again. Already I have said enough number of lies in my life. Hence decided to bunk both the marriages. MS was distinctly unhappy with my decision, and made no effort to hide it. He is that sort of guy. That's the reason why I absolutely adore his assertiveness. Had I been having half of his assertiveness, I wouldn't have been in the kind of mess that I am in now. Unfortunately he doesn't know the real reason why I am running away. Anyways will go and see them off in the evening. And then I am all alone for the rest of the weekend.

Maybe this weekend is the right time for introspection as far as I am concerned. Also I need to get back in talking terms with one very dear friend of mine. We became out of touch ever since I didn't go to attend her marriage. Felt really bad when one of my closest friends in office walked away from me. Now its time that I mend that relationship. I will probably go to her apartment tomorrow for lunch. Hopefully that will end all our fights. In the evening I will probably go to the doctor. My knee is giving me problems yet again. Don't know what he will say this time around. Every time I go to a doctor, I hear a completely new theory about what is happening in my knees. That should take care of my activities tomorrow. Sunday, nothing is planned - except for the visit to the church. Maybe I will go for some movie. They say "Life in a Metro" is good. If possible I will go for that.

Today he mailed me after a couple of days. Every time I tell myself that he is lost for me, something like this happens, which just rekindles the hope for me. I just hope that he really wants me.. I don't want anything much from him; just some time that he can spend for me would be good enough. I just want to be his silent lover, who always remains in the background, who will always be with him, but very far from all the happiness that he gets out of his family. I don't know if that will happen. But if it happens, that would be one of the greatest gifts that God can give me.. Jeez I love this guy so much... I am just not able to get him out of my mind.