Starting to accept..

Face your past without regret
Handle your present with confidence
Prepare for future without fear
Keep faith and drop the fear
Dont believe your doubts and never doubt your beliefs
Life is wonderful if you know how to live it..

Well, message of optimism from a friend. Cant help to be apprehensive of the relevance of this message for me. Where is the optimism in my life? Where is the light of my life? Everything seems to have gone away as I have woken up from that dream. The reality of "him" no longer being there has hit me real hard. I am not even able to concentrate well at work. I dont know where life is heading to for me. I feel very lonely and left out.. feel like there is no point in me being what I am.. I am lost - lost for words.. lost for life.. Why did I fall into something that was not going to work out?? And now I find myself in a hole.. so deep that it will be exceedingly difficult to get out of.. I knew that this was bound to happen some day.. But didnt expect it to happen so soon.. Jeez.. whats wrong with me?? What is it that made him move away from me for good?? Right now I just want to be in a lonely place.. cry out loud.. let my emotions and feeling ejected.. Even that I am not able to do. How unfortunte I am??

I just cant get "him" out of my mind.. The more hard I try, the more strongly he comes back. Every five minutes I keep on checking my mail; hoping against hope that "he" would have sent some message. That it would never happen is something that my head says emphatically; but my heart is not willing to accept it. I dont know how I can get back into my normal life. Thought hard and long about it. But could'nt find an answer to that. Maybe spending more time in office, and getting involved in more official stuff will help out a bit. I cant even find a person with whom I can go and discuss it as well - because I dont want the darker side of my life to come out in the open. What will I do?? God.. show me a way...